dear someone who care

dear someone who care,

i have pretty good start today. waking up on time and then i got the friendly nurses to work with throughout the entire morning shift. i kinda worried today because today is a public holiday, which usually the busiest day in the ER. i worried about making mistakes. but turned out today is busy day but nothing i can't handle. and i have dr.rony to back me up for a while. and i try to go home as quickly as possible because i have a date and i have something to discuss with someone. but apparently, i couldn't be home on time, but i rush as fast as i could. but turn out, nothing worked as planned. my date is also late. and i haven't had lunch so my stomach took over my head. and i couldn't think while my date forced my to have our discussion in the car before we watch the movie.

and i told him though, but just to face another arguments. and the clock is ticking. but today is not my day. as i was starving, he met his friend at the parking lot. we talked for a moment while i wanted to rush as fast as i could to buy something to eat. but he kept talking. i wanted to excuse myself, but i couldn't just runaway when i just met his friend for a split second. so i waited and hoped that he would realize that i'm waiting, but he didn't, so i excused myself and hurried to buy something. but i had to wait again, and they didn't have the sauces that i used to have. which is another bad luck for me. i've starved, i ran out my luck.

here come the movie. i enjoyed it since i'm dying to see it, but as soon as the movie ended, my body started to ache. like i've been beaten by many people. i'm just exhausted. and that's bad. because i still had another date to do. my legs hurt. and i hoped that he would sit next to me and just hug me, but he didn't. he hugged me though, but it's not the hug that i need. and the after date is no good either. i passed the second date just to find that he's also exhausted. and i'm pushing him about the photo matter. i don't want to talk about it now, but somehow it just spit out from my mouth and i can't do nothing about it. we just keep silent on the way back home. and the end is horrible.

the plan was he helped me to figure out about the jacket i need to bring for the end year trip. i thought he would come into the house and waited me down stair while i picked my sweater. he thought that he waited in the car while i brought the sweater back to the car. my room is in the second floor, and my gate is a self-opened gate which is suck. so i decided not to continue my day. it's bad already. so i cancelled it. quite in a rude way actually. but i'm pissed too. didn't he think that it would be troublesome for me to bring the sweater all the way to his car?

and my day hasn't ended yet. i just asked mom to turn on the pump because i ran out water upstairs. turned out she remembered about the water leaks and all the promises that people make to her. even his. so she decided to scold me for his fault and it pissed me even more. and i just want to pour my heart but i had no one. he had an early flight and a lot to do before he left. so he just "sorry, can we put this on the line?" and left me all alone. all i need is 5 minute to scream and yell and damn without blaming anyone and that's all. so, to anyone that care, i just stress and exhausted and having a bad day... and i just want to lighten my burden mind. so thank you for giving your time to read my mind. i hope i'll find someone in real life, not just the virtual one.