Wednesday, September 20, 2017

brain dump: makeup for my sanity

okay.. i've been neglecting this blogs for ever. i've wanted to write about hongkong trip, but somehow i got sidetracked. will get back to that later. hopefully. hahaha.. not promising anything yet. so, since i have 3 kids, i considered myself deep drown in this thing called motherhood. and i didn't put one foot in and one foot out, i completely drown. i even hadn't had the chance to go back to work or anything since my second one was born. so... i've been reading a lot about motherhood, so i guess i just want to spill my brain out here. not judging anyone, not getting angry at anyone, i just want to vent. to keep me sane.

tempo hari ga sengaja baca artikel di babycenter, tentang seorang ibu (kemgknan ya bule) yg lagi belanja bareng anaknya. si ibu mgkn bajunya biasa aja, bahkan mgkn ada tanda2 "kerusuhan" akibat ulah anak, tanpa makeup lg belanja di supermarket. mungkin juga rambutnya cuma diiket kuda ato malah ga dikonde supaya ga ribet. lalu tiba2 si ibu ini dihampiri ibu2 lain yg lebih tua. si ibu yg lebih tua ini dg halus "menyarankan" ke ibu pertama tadi agar dia sedikit memperhatikan dirinya lebih baik. the old lady told her to put nice clothes on when she went out from home, put a little bit makeup and do her hair so she looked presentable and nice. the old lady even told her that she was the same as the mom when she was young but she got the same advice she was given her and the old lady realized and did it. she put on nice clothes and put on some makeup before heading out. si ibu diem aja tapi setelah itu dia menulis artikel dan mengomel2, mengatakan bahwa si ibu tua tadi ga punya hak untuk menasehati dia. dia punya kok baju bagus, bisa pake makeup, cuma pas hari itu dia lagi ga kepengen aja. dan dia merasa tersinggung, merasa bahwa dg berpenampilan biasa aja seakan2 suatu kejahatan, padahal dia sudah capek mengurus anak dan rumahnya. dia merasa bahwa biarpun nasehatnya bagus, tapi waktu untuk mengutarakan nasehat itu kurang tepat.

actually, reading the article tickles me. and also reminds me of the similar story of my own. at that time, my little one was just 2 months old. it was my dad's birthday dinner party and my sister's marriage celebration. karena msh menyusui, aku memutuskan untuk memakai gaun yang bisa dipakai menyusui, ada bukaan gitu. tp modelnya ya biasa aja. (on side note: sekarang enak banyak onlineshop yg jual baju menyusui di indo walaupun modelnya masih kebanyakan casual. dulu pas anak pertama beli baju menyusui di singapur nitip adik). waktu itu aku memutuskan untuk pakai makeup tipis2 tapi hanya mengikat rambut dg karet rambut biasa. pikirku waktu itu paling tidak ga keliatan zombie jd harus pake makeup, tapi krn msh harus gendong bayi dan ketemu banyak orang, lebih praktis rambut dikuncir saja. little did i know that later that night, an old friend of our family approached me and gave me pity look.

at that time i brought our nanny along. but even though i have a nanny, i still take care of my kids as much as i can. jadi, si tante merasa kasihan dan sedih ngeliat modelku waktu itu. baju yg biasa saja, ga ada bagus2nya di matanya, walaupun bajuku sopan, dan rambut yang dikuncir apa adanya. dia merasa aku jd lebih tua dr seharusnya. she told me that even though i had a newborn baby, i should've take care of myself better. at that time i just listened to her out of courtesy. i didn't want to hurt her feeling. but i was annoyed. aku pikir, ini tante ga tau apa repotnya ngurus bayi? masih untung aku sempet pake makeup. suamiku aja aslinya udah bilang ngapain sih repot2 pake makeup, toh orang2 jg pasti maklum kalo ga sempet makeup, kan baru punya bayi. but apparently she cared. even though she is a mom herself.

gak lama setelah itu, aku ngeliat ada mama2 influencer di instagram. she posted her hairstyling routine. she said that even though she was busy, she made time to put on makeup and style her hair on special occasion, like holidays or special event. she said that it was for her own sake. dengan dandan atau menata rambut dia merasa lebih cantik dan itu membuat dirinya senang, dan akhirnya dia melakukan kegiatan hariannya dg senang pula. ujung2nya semua jadi ikutan senang. dan dia bilang nggak perlu sampe mengorbankan anak, karena dia sendiri juga harus mengurus anak tanpa nanny. she told us to pick the most convenient time for us. for her, it's early in the morning before her husband and daughter wakes up. she will wake up an hour earlier to get herself ready. and i was inspired. later that night, i sneaked some time to style my hair when my kids were asleep. i stopped when the baby was up for his night feeding and resumed when he was asleep again. and i felt better, just like she said.

kembali ke cerita si tante tadi, terus terang kalo si tante komentar begitu waktu aku habis punya anak pertama, aku bakalan langsung emosi dan tersinggung mendengar komentarnya. karena waktu itu aku gak punya nanny dan anakku kolik jd rewelnya luar biasa setiap hari. aku sendiri hampir stress menghadapi 3 bulan pertama. boro2 dandan, bisa mandi dan keramas saja sudah bagus. tapi seiring dengan anak makin besar dan waktu itu aku masih sekolah lagi dan harus magang, mau tidak mau aku harus dandan agar tampil profesional. mulai deh kebiasan merawat diri dilakukan karena waktunya ada. dan setelah terbiasa, aku jadi ketagihan karena aku tahu hasilnya bagus. kulitku jd lebih terawat bahkan suamiku sendiri komentar ternyata ada gunanya semua krim dan masker yang aku templokin di mukaku.

jadi waktu anak kedua, aku tetap melakukan perawatan muka. lebih awal daripada setelah melahirkan anak pertama. walaupun masih belum pakai makeup, tapi aku meluangkan waktu dandan dalam kurun waktu lebih cepat dibanding anak pertama. pas anak pertama baru dandan setelah 3-4 bulan krn waktu itu masuk sekolah dan magang. pas anak kedua, pas usia 2 bulanan jg mulai dandan tipis2 tapi rambut ga diapa2in. dikuncir aja demi kepraktisan. pas anak ketiga, hasil dr merawat kulit makin keliatan. makeup jd makin bagus hasilnya biarpun masih amatir. biarpun pas usia 2 bulan ada kejadian si tante itu. tapi waktu si bayi tambah besar, aku mulai memiliki waktu luang lebih banyak. i start buying new makeup to replace my old one that has been expired. and having a new one makes me want to try them most of the time. plus my other sister is getting engaged so i was planning to do my own makeup. so about my baby is 4-5 months, i start sneaking late night to practice doing my makeup. and also style my hair. by the time my baby is 6 months, i wear makeup mostly when i'm out to mall on weekend and to church. i even put on makeup when i feel like it, even though it's not a full makeup one. the key is to do it quickly.

intinya apa? intinya saran si tante tadi dan ibu tua dalam cerita tadi ga sepenuhnya salah. biarpun mungkin timingnya ga pas. si ibu di cerita kadang masih pake makeup, just like i do. cuma pas itu dia lagi ngerasa ga pengen aja. dan ga menutup kemungkinan kejadian ini berulang dan terjadi pada siapa saja. if you're a new mom, please don't get offense when someone gave you the same advice. nanti pada waktunya kalian akan merasa saran tadi ga ada salahnya, cuma salah timing aja. aku sendiri merasakan keuntungannya. doing my makeup makes me feel good. it makes me feel pretty. and when i feel myself pretty, i am happy. and if i'm happy, my kids are happy too and the whole house is happy. in other words, doing makeup keeps myself sane. that doesn't mean that i always put on makeup to make myself good. but if i'm feeling low and tired, i put on a little bit makeup to cheer myself up. to lift up my spirit. and that also doesn't mean that i neglect my kids so i can do my makeup. i'm lucky enough to have nanny around to help me, but if you're a mom without a nanny, i believe you will find a time and trick to sneak time to pamper yourself.

i will repeat another influencer mom's word: you're a mom, but you're also a woman and a wife. jadi, gak ada salahnya dandan sekali2. itung2 suami juga seneng ngeliat istrinya lebih seger sedikit. dan sekali lagi, ini bukan saran kalo bayinya baru lahir gres. ini saran untuk saat bayinya udah mulai gedean, minimal 3 bulan dan waktu tidurnya sudah lebih teratur jd kita sendiri jg mulai punya waktu luang lebih banyak. dan tidak selalu harus makeup. i bet there's another way to make yourself feel better other than putting on some makeup. just keep yourself sane!