Saturday, June 16, 2012

hello world!

i'm now officially a mother. yep.. on june 2nd, my son was born, healthy and first he looked like his dad, but fortunately, his nose looked like i hoped for.. hahhaa..

okay.. let us walk down the road : me becoming a mom...
couple weeks before, i was freaked out, since my schedule was pretty hectic.. not much different than the month before, though it was not as hectic as before.. but still, sometime i had to helped in the ER, which was bump was bigger, and i couldn't move as freely as before (read: there were screamings and shoutings when i walked slightly faster, "dokkk.. jalannya pelanan dikit... itu perutnya udah gedeee..")
and sometimes i felt contraction if i'm tired.

i planned on having normal vaginal delivery, so the most concerning thing in my mind was getting through it without getting episiotomy, which is almost impossible, since this was my first pregnancy. i knew that the first one was not easy. some women could go through more than 12 hours before giving birth. my mom was overdue when she was having me. she had to get the induction drip, and then still waited for a long time before i was born. and many people warning me about the pain from the contraction. since i had some braxton hicks before, i could predict how bad it would be. and since i couldn't bear pain, i started to browse about how to ease the pain.

i already did pilates and yoga for pregnancy, but not regularly, so i started to make plan to do it regularly. but it was just a plan. i even practice "senam kehamilan", but only once or twice.. rencana tinggallah rencana.. pulang kerja kebanyakan capeknya.. pengen lgsg tidur. bsk paginya bangun pengennya tidur lamaan dikit.. mumpung masuknya siang.. selalu ada alasan utk tdk exercise. which i regretted at the end.. so pregnant women, do your exercise regularly.. it does help.. (talking about flexibility and stamina). i also ended up reading about hypnobirthing, and since a senior classmate of mine reviewed it on "the urban mama", i ended up reading it and decided to learn. but i was already late. i only had the chance to practice it probably for a week.. hahaha.. but i set my mind that my labor would be smooth, quick, pain free and no episiotomy (apparently, it was quick, not so smooth and just a little pain when i got stitches, but still got episiotomy.. )

so on may 30th, i was still working at the ER. though i was there as back up (supposedly), unfortunately, my partner wasn't that quick.. so the patients started to pile up in the ER. i didn't want to work as hard as before since i felt some contraction already. i refused to do all the work like i used to do. i opt for rest as much as i could get. on may 31st, my OG said we could wait for another week, since my contraction was weak, though the baby was already laying low. on june 1st, my first day free of work, i felt some contraction, but it faded when i took some rest. dan makin malam tambah jarang, so i guess, belum waktunya.

but on june 2nd, jam 1 dini hari, kontraksinya makin sakit. i even woke my husband up. fortunately, he already downloaded an app to record contraction, so when i woke him up to count my contraction, he just used the app. then after 10 minutes or so, he told me that my contraction was just 3 minutes apart. then i agreed to rush to the hospital (he already suggested it the day before, when i started to feel the contraction). at the hospital, the midwives do the internal exam (damn, it was hurt.. harusnya aku dulu lbh simpati pada ibu2 yg hamil, yg kesakitan waktu kita mencoba VT.. *maapkan aku*) dan aku udah pembukaan 4. after reading my admission form (which was stated that my job is a doctor), she then said "pantes aja udah buka 4 baru ke sini.. udah pinter, lha wong dokter.. "

i told my husband not to call my mom or his mom just yet. first labor usually go loooonnggg looonngg way.. so i didn't want to worry them just yet. it was in the middle of the night, and i could take care of myself, so i told my husband to call them if it was really2 the time. i was admitted at 1 am. at 4.30 am, i felt the urge to push, so i called the midwives. she said it was only 7, but the head was really low. she told me to hold the urge to push, since it could cause bundle and would postpone the dilation. at that time, it was painful.. it was not easy to hold the urge. thankfully my husband helped me and coached me to control my breathing to distract my urgency to push. the midwives called my OG and my OG said he was on his way to the hospital. at 5 am, my OG arrived and he told me to push when i felt the urge. fortunately, my husband already called both parents at 4.30, just informing them that i'm in labor, but still pembukaan 7, so no need to be hurry (they both thought they still had time, so both took shower and finished their chores before headed to the hospital, but turned out both were late.. my son was already born when they arrived)

so at 5 am, i started to push, but my energy had drained due to holding the urge not to push. my hand was shaking and i couldn't spread my leg wide enough. and i couldn't push hard enough that the midwives had to help me. though my OG waited, but my son's head was big and my perineum was not as elastic as i hoped for, so he had to do the episiotomy. and it was not easy to push the head. even my son's head kinda stuck down there before he could be born. my husband gave me support, telling me that a little bit more.. he could see his hair..push a little bit harder.. and there.. after 3 contraction and long push, my son was born.

terhitung kilat khusus.. lahiran pertama, cuma butuh waktu 5 jam buat lahiran.. hahaha.. rekor ga sih? abis gitu ternyata anakku gede.. 3,5 kilo booo.. panjangnya 53. kalo panjangnya udah ditebak ama dokternya. tapi beratnya itu yg melenceng.. oh, dan siapa bilang pas dijahit ga kerasa krn seneng gendong anak? kerasa boo.. masio doktere udah bilang konsen aja ama anaknya, tetep aja kerasa itu jarum keluar masuk.. ternyata dihecting ga enak.. (maapkan aku ya para pasienku yg kadang takhecting dg separo meksa ga nambah anestesi krn tinggal sebiji dua hectingnyaaa...)

dan begitulah ceritanya.. on june 2nd, 5.25 am, my son was born. and we named it matthew alexander goenawan. (guyonan kalo udah ketemu nama anaknya lahir nyaris bener.. we just agreed on that name a couple days before..seriously..)