Tuesday, December 7, 2010

dear someone who care

dear someone who care,

i have pretty good start today. waking up on time and then i got the friendly nurses to work with throughout the entire morning shift. i kinda worried today because today is a public holiday, which usually the busiest day in the ER. i worried about making mistakes. but turned out today is busy day but nothing i can't handle. and i have dr.rony to back me up for a while. and i try to go home as quickly as possible because i have a date and i have something to discuss with someone. but apparently, i couldn't be home on time, but i rush as fast as i could. but turn out, nothing worked as planned. my date is also late. and i haven't had lunch so my stomach took over my head. and i couldn't think while my date forced my to have our discussion in the car before we watch the movie.

and i told him though, but just to face another arguments. and the clock is ticking. but today is not my day. as i was starving, he met his friend at the parking lot. we talked for a moment while i wanted to rush as fast as i could to buy something to eat. but he kept talking. i wanted to excuse myself, but i couldn't just runaway when i just met his friend for a split second. so i waited and hoped that he would realize that i'm waiting, but he didn't, so i excused myself and hurried to buy something. but i had to wait again, and they didn't have the sauces that i used to have. which is another bad luck for me. i've starved, i ran out my luck.

here come the movie. i enjoyed it since i'm dying to see it, but as soon as the movie ended, my body started to ache. like i've been beaten by many people. i'm just exhausted. and that's bad. because i still had another date to do. my legs hurt. and i hoped that he would sit next to me and just hug me, but he didn't. he hugged me though, but it's not the hug that i need. and the after date is no good either. i passed the second date just to find that he's also exhausted. and i'm pushing him about the photo matter. i don't want to talk about it now, but somehow it just spit out from my mouth and i can't do nothing about it. we just keep silent on the way back home. and the end is horrible.

the plan was he helped me to figure out about the jacket i need to bring for the end year trip. i thought he would come into the house and waited me down stair while i picked my sweater. he thought that he waited in the car while i brought the sweater back to the car. my room is in the second floor, and my gate is a self-opened gate which is suck. so i decided not to continue my day. it's bad already. so i cancelled it. quite in a rude way actually. but i'm pissed too. didn't he think that it would be troublesome for me to bring the sweater all the way to his car?

and my day hasn't ended yet. i just asked mom to turn on the pump because i ran out water upstairs. turned out she remembered about the water leaks and all the promises that people make to her. even his. so she decided to scold me for his fault and it pissed me even more. and i just want to pour my heart but i had no one. he had an early flight and a lot to do before he left. so he just "sorry, can we put this on the line?" and left me all alone. all i need is 5 minute to scream and yell and damn without blaming anyone and that's all. so, to anyone that care, i just stress and exhausted and having a bad day... and i just want to lighten my burden mind. so thank you for giving your time to read my mind. i hope i'll find someone in real life, not just the virtual one.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Trying to rehab from u

Can we say men are bastards? Kita sering denger, all the good guys are taken. All the good guys that hasn't been taken are gays. Well, kayaknya emg deh. Bahkan ada yg perlu ditmbi, even some good guys have the bastard quality in them. Mgkn ga keliatan awalnya, but sooner or later it'll show.

And every girls has a bitch inside them. Biarpun lagaknya manis dan baik, sooner or later u'll find the bitch in them. Even myself. Takakui aku ga baek2. Judul boleh anak pendeta, but sometimes i can spit deadly words that can ruin ur day or mood. I'm good at being evil. Beneran.. And now i'm in my dark and twisted mode.

U don't need to be surprised if i said i hate u now. And my hatred toward u is building up each day. U've changed me more than i realize. And i hate u because of that. And u've changed from the person i used to know.

Not that i ask u to keep being nice and spoiling me, but this is... Ga salah lek ada org blg cowo itu kalo udh dpt yg dimaui ya ngelewes.. Spt bapak2 yg lb care dg mobilnya stl merit dibanding istrinya.. I guess it pictures u well.

Sayang blogger ga berpassword jd ga isa seenaknya menyumpah serapah di sini. Pdhl ini mulut udah gatel aja. Bodo amat lu kerja banting tulang mengatas namakan kesejahteraan. Toh i'm not happy with it, so what's the use? Emg gw ga mau ngurus rencanamu and ur mom, tp sapa coba yg ga sebel kalo tiba2 mbilanginnya? Gw ga blh dpt cuti sukurin lu.. Duit ilang..

Emang sapa sih yg mo kawin? Yg milih tanggal malah org lain. Kawin aja sendiri ama yg pilih tanggal. Yg mo diajak kawin malah ga diajak diskusi. Males amat. Udah disuruh sekolah, disuruh kawin, disuruh kerja, sekalian aja disuruh tewas. Disuruh ngeladenin maunya semua org.. Sori bgt, bkn gw bgt. Lu aja .. Jgn seret gw. Lama2 omongan lu jg ga bs dipegang. Janji jg semua ttp janji. Gw emg bkn cewe penuntut, yg gw tuntut cm satu, waktu lu.. Tp itu pun jg jrg terpenuhi, jd sekalian aja gw berbh kd cewe kebanyakan, penuntut.

Ohhh and i know, u've told me that dont hurt u coz u might not heal again, so why am i still doing it? COZ U DON'T READ ANYMORE SO U WOULDN'T KNOW IT. And u're not care anymore to even think about it. So.. Biar ga berpassword pun ga masalah. Ampe kiamat jg bakalan ga dibaca.

Did i inform u abt my moving? Oh sudah.. Bahkan ak pancing dg my latest post, u have no idea abt it. Pdhl udh tny isa liat linknya di mana. PERHAPS U FORGET ABT IT, COZ IT'S NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE. so from this moment, hell u. I will get over my addiction and practicing my acting skill. U'll be amazed. Just watch me.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

NATO is bad, but not talking is also bad

I really try not to get mad. Well, i can't do it so i guess i choose to start a cold war. Oh come on.. I've told u dozen times for not keeping me in the dark but numerous times u keep doing it again and again. I hate when i have to remind u again. And i hate doing it again. So i guess this time i will keep quiet about it.

Thinking about it, i do have my logic and reasonable reason to be mad. First, i'm not working on my own, so i need permission for almost everything. And we have pretty tight schedule, so i have to tell them in advance. Not like ur habit..

Second, u said that it's not 100% affirmative so u don't want make a rush about it. But then when it's all set, you don't even remember to discuss it again with me. As if i'm going to play along no matter changes happened along the way.

For God's sake, we're not married yet and u've already dragged me out of country on my dad's bday! Awesome! Without telling me! That's so marvelous! Keep doin that and i can't imagine what my dad will do to you