Monday, December 10, 2012

things about breastfeeding

hell yeah, every breast feeding mum has their own battle, and so do i. let me start from day one. when my son was born, i had no idea that breastmilk didn't come out itself.. i thought that once the baby was born, my breastmilk will come out automatically, but turned out, i was wrong. for the first day, nothing came out. but the nurse kept telling me to keep trying. if my son's mouth kept sucking at my breast, my breastmilk will come out eventually. so i kept trying and believing and hoping that my breastmilk will come out soon. but not until the second day. but it wasn't quick enough. matthew is icteric by the second day so the paediatrist decided to put him under uv light. and the antibiotik had to be until 5th day, so i had to go home first.

i haven't bought any breastpump yet and had no idea which one to buy. so when i got home, i had no idea that i had to keep pumping in order to avoid engorgement and stuff. so since me and my boy had no idea what effiecient breastfeeding was, we struggled. and when we got home, many people had their own opinion that mess with my head. i had less rest, let alone any help. it was only me and my husband at night. and crying baby was not helping at all

trying not to stress? it was sooo hard. sometime, i just frustrated and cried without reason. you could say it was the imbalance hormone, but i knew that stress also played part. plus matthew was having colic. listening to his periodically crying at almost the same time was frustrating and heart-breaking. i was struggling between breastfeeding, and bottle-feeding. and pumping. i read that second week i had to start pumping and saved breastmilk in order to be save when i had to work again.

once the colic was away, it was easier. i was less stress. and my breastmilk was increasing. as my confident rose, the production was increased too. so yeah, husband should kept their wife happy. but i was frustrated since i had no help at home. once my maid went home and my husband didn't come home yet, i had no one in the house. i was alone. and it was frustrating for outgoing person like me. when i told my husband that, he stated a thing that also opened my mind. "i also wanted to be at home as soon as i could, but i had to work. if i didn't go to work, how could we keep on living like now?"
so yeah, i had to deal with my frustration. i had to let go some idealism.

so, back to breastfeeding, pumping regularly was important to keep the breastmilk keep on being produced. keep happy was also another obligation. and never believe that you can't breastfed your baby. so confidence, happiness and stubborness. that're the keys.

now that i was back to school and intern obligation, i had to be nice and asked nicely where i could pump. and where to storage it for a while before going home. also sneaking during short break to pump. even my classmate noticed it. and then a lecturer also noticed it. i hope i could breastfed my son until a year. though it was not exclusively (still had only a few storage milk, so i had to give bottle one or two per day), but i still tried to give my best. and you should too.. whatever struggle you had, don't give up.

Friday, November 30, 2012

MARS life

banyak yg nanyain kenapa kok milih MARS? jawaban jujurnya sih gampang, karena disuruh suami. berhubung stl merit langsung hamil, otomatis kasihan anake kalo aku daftar PPDS dan ternyata ketrim (pede bangettt...). alhasil drpd cm ngurus anak dan kerja lagi, dan ga ada variasi lain, muncullah usul buat ambil MARS aja. drpd cuma sekedar dokter umum, at least bisa ngejar karir di tingkat struktural kalo seandainya ga ketrima PPDS. so.. mulailah kerepotan sekolah dimulai.

urusan magang: so far, di UGD oke2 aja, karena suasana kerjanya asik, datanya pun lengkap. petugas yang mo ditanyain selalu ada dan selalu siap bantu. kalo ada yang ga dimengerti pun bisa njelasin, kalaupun ga bisa jelasin, ada datanya untuk dipelajari di UGD. untuk rawat jalan, karena cuma menjalani 2 hari tiap poliklinik, alhasil ga selalu bisa menjalin hubungan baik ama perawat ato pp ato POS yang di situ. belon lagi kadang polinya rame, kadang sepi. yang susah adalah data tiap klinik beda-beda, dan ga semuanya tercatat dengan benar. ada yang kurang, ada yang kelebihan. dan ga semua petugas yang ada di klinik itu ngerti kenapa kok ga lengkap. dan kepala unitnya pun juga kadang ga paham. apalg datanya ada yang ketinggalan bahkan hilang di gedung lama pas mereka pindah tempat dari bangunan lama ke bangunan baru. *sigh* alhasil pas bikin laporannya pun jadi lama dan susah.

untuk kuliahnya, masih up and down.
AKK : mata kuliah paling serem krn dosennya disiplin banget. belum lagi tugasnya. it's not the difficulty of the task, but the people that i have to worked with. i understand that they have their own business, but they should help too. one of them was nice, she helped to compose the task and even replied my message and email. but the other one, he seemed that he was in control but turned out that he was just talking. no result. and the most dangerous part was he was talking as if he had consulted the lecturer, but at the last minute, he admitted that he hadn't consulted the lecturer yet. and it was due the next day! bah.. talking about NATO.. grrr.. luckily the class was cancelled. fiuh.. dan pelajarannya, krn inti pelajarannya didapat pas tugas, alhasil masih bny yg blm aku ngerti krn sibuk ngerjain tugasku sendiri. hmph.. kudu ngejar nih..

SDM: topiknya yang baru dan membingungkan, belum lagi dosennya menjelaskan seakan-akan kita semua sudah paham. kalo yg nerangin di dpn paham ama topiknya, dan njelasinnya enak, aku ngerti bahannya. tapi kalo ndak, aku jg ga paham. susahnya, sama kyk AKK, bahan pelajarannya ya dari tugas itu. jdnya kudu ngejar belajar juga. repotnya lagi, tugasku sendiri jg salah jd kudu dibenerin akibat partnerku salah persepsi ttg tugasnya. pdhl dia yg bikin pendahuluan awalnya.

keperawatan : kyknya seluruh kelas ga ada yang paham ama pelajaran dan tugasnya. orgnya kalo njelasin mbosenin, dikit2 selalu nyuruh kita liat di bukunya. beh. belum lagi abis gini udah wayahe UAS.. ga tau deh ntar gimana jadinya

pemasaran : biarpun kadang dosennya rada bingungin kalo nanya, tp pelajarannya simple dan bs dimengerti sendiri. tugasnya pun ga susah, jd yg ngerjain pun gampang dan pas jelasin pun jelas. alhasil ini pelajaran paling oke lah.

filsafat : topiknya aja filsafat yg ga jelas, apalg dosennya sama kyk dosen pemasaran yg kadang ngomongnya aku ga paham, jadinya pelajaran ini masih ga jelas blas maune piye. tp masih bs diplji sendiri

intinya.. let's hope i could pass this semester.. *doa kenceng2*

Saturday, October 20, 2012

life post maternal leave

now i'm pretty busy. monday to friday morning, i went to adi husada for my "magang", and then on thursday to saturday, i went to college. it was a different world. at first, i was itchy to help at the ER. but i was there to study the hospital administration, not the medical service. it was hard just sitting there and do nothing. but sometimes i gave up and helped with the paper work. i didn't interact with the patient directly, but i had something to do beside waiting. the college was something else. at first, i didn't know a thing about the lecture. i had no idea. it was another world for me. all those foreign terms and the bureaucracy made me dizzy. but i got the hang of it.

my favorite course is logistics. the lecturer was very clear in teaching us, it made it interesting and easy to understand. my least favorite course was nursing management and human resource. the first one, the lecture was sooo boring. i didn't understand a bit. the second one, the first lecture was confusing, the second week was okay, but the third week turned out confusing again, and the last one was very good. so, it was a love-hate situation for me. but a little by little, i started to enjoy the confusion. hahaha..

and for the "magang", if the unit manager was okay, it was fun to spend the time. but if the manager wasn't okay, it was excruciating spending the time there. and all the reports were miserable. but i still hope for the best. until now, it was okay at the new hospital. people were nice and helpful. i hoped it will stay the same.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

so long, mitra

many people asked me why i haven't quit my job at RSMKS yet. as far as everybody's knowledge, working at mitra mean a hell lot of job but small wages. well.. let's review it from my point of view.

after finishing my medical school, the only thing in my mind was finding a job as quick as i could. since i'm firstborn but almost last to graduate (due to longer studies - 6 years to finish med school), i had to catch up my sisters pretty quick. i was already giving piano lesson at that time, but it was just a side job. so when my friend told me that there was opening at RSMKW, i applied there with couple of my friends. we were called to be tested and interviewed. everybody got home after finishing their test, but i had to wait to be interviewed on the same day. the director noticed that my house was on west surabaya, so she asked whether or not i'm willing to be transferred to RSMKS since they were also in short of person. since my first intention was to get a job soon, i agreed to it. so she arranged for me to be interviewed again by the other director.

at that time, i questioned my decision. some of my friend has been accepted at RSMKW and already working, while i'm still waiting to be called again. i was in doubt, is it true that they still need someone? or have they gotten the person they need. but finally i got the call. i met with the director and the head of ER, and i got accepted! hahaa.. though at that time i was really a fresh graduate, no experience at all, and haven't been trained anything yet (ACLS, ATLS, etc). fiuh.. that time, i was relieve. God heard my prayer.

day by day, i started to enjoy it. though it was hard work (really2.. i don't understand that those so called high-end patients were very demanding and sometimes stupid.. ) but i like all the people there. they were warm and nice. i loved my colleagues.. all the nurse.. in short, i could blend with them easily. since i was considered to be quick learner, they gave me more schedule in ER as second doctor more than my friend (at that time, there were two of us who got accepted at the same time). and i got flying solo almost the same as my friend who were there a month earlier.

i remembered, i was pretty scared when i was flying solo. i prayed to God that everyone will be just fine and healthy. no stroke attack, no heart attack, no accident. hahaha.. indeed, my first flying solo was fine. it was quiet. and it also happened to my second, third, and so on. but as time passed, i faced some emergencies, i made some mistakes, and i almost got sued! but i passed it all. i even cried when i found out that i couldn't save the old man on my night duty, though i worked my ass of to save his life. well, i was exhausted at that time and got attached easily to him (which i shouldn't do). i got my ups and downs here in mitra.

but back to my very first reason. i applied for the job for one main reason: to learn. being a doctor is a never ending job. you never know what you'll be facing, you couldn't predict what will come through the ER door everyday. though it might be same cases, there would be hundreds outcome. it depends on your decision. you have to be quick and intuitive. and sometimes, just be stubborn. since my first reason is to learn, money came last.

i admit, i was disappointed when i found out about my first month salary. but then, when i got more responsibilities, though it mean more hard works, it also mean more money. i remembered i got almost twice my usual salary when i really worked my ass off. no day off. but i could pass all that. and the benefit? more people got to know me. more people got to trust me. and i also gained more confidence.

so, for those who kept asking why i still at mitra, i guessed i have answered your question. if money was my orientation, i would've quit my job from the very first time i got my first salary. so now, i quit because i wanted to learn more. and i couldn't get it at mitra, so i guess i have to say goodbye for now. i really thank everyone there, who had taught me and taken care of me, and apologized if i had cause them troubles. wish you all good luck. and wish me good luck too..

and perhaps, if God permit, i would be back..

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

NZ # 6-7

after breakfast, we were back on the road again. this time to franz josef. we already booked a helicopter tour for fox and franz josef glacier, and it was another long road to go.. *sigh* this time, the view was combination between mountain and shore. we could see the sea from mid trip before turned again to the mountain. fox was closer, but the trip that we booked started from franz josef, and it was lunch time already. so we were mixed between getting there first or having lunch first. we decided to get there first and confirmed everything before heading to our villa and having lunch.when we arrived at the office, the person on duty said that they didn't have us on their schedule, but he could slip us into 3.30pm flight, so we agreed it and decided to go to our villa and have lunch.

our villa was nice. though we were early (the check in time was 3 pm, and we were there at 1pm - i guess), there was this old man that offered us to find the manager, and our room was already available at that time. perfect. the manager recommended a few place to eat and what to do while in franz josef. i was amazed by NZ government. back in st. moritz, the receptionist handed us the city map and pointed "must visit" places. here in franz josef, the manager also handed us the map of franz josef. behind it, it was the map of fox. and i saw the map not only in our villa, but also every public place in franz josef. so i guess it must be the government.

we had lunch at speight's landing bar. i ordered pasta carbonara and my hubby ordered steak. but he didn't like the sauce. the steak was better than flame's though. and then we went on the helicopter ride. first, we couldn't see very clear since we were on the back seat. but then we landed on snow. we took pictures, played snow for a while, and then came the snowfall!! yeyyy.. finally.. then we had to ride up again to fox glacier and back to franz josef. this time, the pilot told us to ride in front. YIPEE!! but my hubby was frightened. hahaha..

for dinner, we went to alice mays. the food was warm and delicious. very comforting on rainy day. yep, it was raining again, so we went back after having dinner. the next morning, we took a small walk, a climbing one to the viewpoint of the glacier. took some pictures and then went to greymouth to catch the train to christchurch.

at greymouth, we were confused by where the rental car office was, but we found it right on time. when the train arrived, we were just checked in. fiuh. i was disappointed though. i thought the train would be all luxury and new. turned out it almost looked like the one in surabaya. hahaha.. but it was cleaner. and we were already exhausted, so i didn't take any pictures on that train. plus it was raining again, a bit. it was late when we arrived at christchurch. we had to call for taxi to go to airport hotel. and when we arrived at the hotel, we were hungry and cold. and tired. and it was the end of our holiday. the next morning, we had to wake up very very early to go to the airport. thank God it was 15 minutes away. and we went back to singapore.. here comes the end of our holiday.. (well.. almost)

NZ #4-5

it was still dawn when we had to wake up and have breakfast before we got picked up. we rushed during breakfast, but still.. indonesian people were always late, hahaa.. we were the last one to go inside the cab that picked us up to go to the real journey's office. we were waiting there for the bus driver came and picked us up again to go to another stop. since we were going to doubtful sound, we had to stop by in the middle of the road to be picked up again by another bus driver. the bus that departed from queenstown was going to milford sound. since it was dark, we slept again.. though actually the view was nice. but too bad, it was too dark to be enjoyed. another bad news was the other bus driver was late, so i was a little worried about this trip, since it would be another 4 hours on boat.

but he was just late a little bit. fiuh.. then we arrived at lake manapouri to start our journey. the lake was so big that i thought it was doubtful sound already. what important from that lake was due to its size, the new zealand government decided to use the water power to provide electricity. so they built generator, hidden behind the mountain to produce electricity.

after went across lake manopouri, we waited for another bus to take us to doubtful sound. the bus driver told us that the area had the most rainy days in the world. it rained when we first started the tour, but once we've come closer to doubtful sound, the rain has stopped. amazing! everywhere we go, everybody told us that the weather was nice this season, a mild winter. it's like God answered my prayer to give us a good weather. i've already suffered for leaving matthew behind, so i wanted the good weather to enjoy this vacation. and He did listen to my prayer..

okay, back to the tour. the bus driver stopped by for a moment at the viewpoint, so we could see doubtful sound in front of us, down below. and it was amazing, a little bit mystical due to the mist, but it was amazing.. it was named doubtful sound by captain cook since he was doubtful that he could exit again if he entered the doubtful sound. then, the bus stopped at the bay, and we went on by boat again. everywhere we saw was amazing. every head turn made us go "awww..." it was amazing indeed. since the weather was nice, the captain drove closer to tasman sea, where there was a small, remote island, inhabited by seals. they were cute... along the way, there were penguins, the blue penguin, but since they were small, i couldn't capture them well. all the view and the seals were okay, but the feeling of being on a boat moved against the sea wave was not okay. i felt sick. yuck. but thankfully, not until seasick.

then we turned around. and the captain drove us to some turn and then stop the motor boat and suggested us to stop taking picture and enjoy the moment. enjoy the sound of nature, which was very rare to be enjoyed since people so addicted to technology (yeah.. couldn't live without internet..) and then, everyone was exhausted so no one taking pictures anymore on our way back home. oh yeah, we stopped by the underground post, where the generator was built, inside the mountain, and heard a little explanation about it, the history and stuff. and on our bus back to queenstown, i accidentally looked up to the sky and there were stars! bright and shining stars! the one that we should see back in mount cook. i was amazed. the stars were so bright that i thought i wasn't real.

and we ended the day, almost starving.. since my hubby wanted to eat chinese, but unfortunately the place was fully booked by indonesian tour, and we had no idea where else to go. but then as we walked around, i saw a japanese restaurant, mentioned by our bus driver earlier. he recommended a lot of places to go if we wanted to do culinary tour, and it did help!

the next day was our last day in queenstown, we wanted to enjoy it as much as we could but not too much till exhausted, so we decided to change plan. first we wanted to do ski, but we changed to culinary tour. hahaha.. we asked the receptionist to booked us on gondola ride and buffet lunch at skyline restaurant then dinner in Flame, a grill and steak restaurant recommended by the other receptionist.

so after breakfast, we walked around the mall to buy souvenirs and eat ice cream (finally!). then we went to ride gondola. the view from the viewing deck was nice. then we enjoyed the lunch buffet. the salad was nice. i even went for second round. hahaha.. by the time to enjoy desert, i was too full so i just sampled everything. i wanted to try "western" desert, so no way i passed creme brule, chocolate mousse and stuff. i actually wanted the ice cream for takeaway, but my hubby doubt it. so, i had to pass it. hiks.

then we enjoyed a relaxing hot pool at onsen, before heading back to hotel. actually i wanted to play ice skating before dinner, but my hubby didn't want to do any sport, so we just walked around the mall again, and headed early at the restaurant. the food at flame was another okay. we ordered the frill platter for two, and turned out the only delicious one was the rib. oh, and the chicken wing, since they were both seasoned by the same sauce. the lamb and the steak was dry. yuck.  and our last day at queenstown came to an end.

Friday, August 24, 2012

NZ #2-3

the trip to mount cook was AWESOME.. the scenery along the way was breathtaking. the mountain with its top covered in snow, the clear blue sky (yep, it's like what the people in the lodge has said, if it's raining in christchurch, it will be good weather  in mount cook). we should've rushed since we were planning to stop by the salmon farm first, but the scenery seduced us to stop multiple times to take pictures and to enjoy the view. we stopped by at lake tekapo which was marvelous. the mist had gone, so we had the clear view of the lake. then we went on to the salmon farm. too bad at that time, they were having maintenance, so they didn't have the tour around the farm. we only stopped there to buy some salmon and to eat lunch.

then we went on, driving along the lake tekapo and then along the lake pukaki, heading toward mount cook. the view was also marvelous. when we arrived at our hotel in mount cook, it was a perfect place to stay. the hotel was surrounded by the mountain, and from our room, we could see mount cook. in our hotel there was a museum and planetarium, dedicated to sir edmund hillary, the mount everest's climber. actually, we planned to go on a glacier tour and stargazing, but unfortunately, both of them are not available at the moment. so we just spent the afternoon watching 3D movie and walking around the hotel and taking pictures. the next morning, after breakfast, we went on tasman valley tour. we went to the top of tasman valley to see the glacier. our tour guide was funny. he told us that population in mount cook during low season was only 100. but in peak season, it was 200 people. the kindergarten there, 1 teacher and 5 kiddies.. wakkaka.. what a small village. he even joked that everybody knows everybody there. and then he made it clear by waving to some villagers passing us by.

halfway toward the top was spent riding the argo, which was like a 4WD, but this one had 8 wheels. our guide drove like a mad cowboy.. with all the yeeha and stuff.. hahaha.. he was funny indeed. then, we had to climb to the top. fiuh.. it was hard work alright, since i haven't had an exercise again since i was 7th month pregnant, and now my boy is almost 3 months.. wew.. but we managed to get on top. the view? breathtaking.. he told us that the glacier shrunk quickly. 6 years ago, it was in the middle of the lake. now, it was only 1/4 of it. talking about global warming. i hope we could visit it again with the whole family before it melt completely.

after that, we were back on the road again. this time to queenstown. the scenery was not as great as before, since there were no green grass and stuff. but, we did have a wonderful lunch. we stopped by at this small town called twizel, and trusted tripadvisor for guiding us to this cafe called poppies. and they do served delicious food for a small town. the salad was deliciousss.. even me who never eat salad, ate them all.. hahhaa..

our first night at queenstown? we spent it an hour waiting to get the famous fergburger. we didn't know which one to order since many people had their own different taste. so we ordered the big al and rib eye. the big al was okay, but it was toooo big so both of us couldn't finish it. the rib eye was yuck, not gonna buy it again. and then we went to rest since tomorrow will be a long trip to doubtful sound.