untold stories

twitter really makes me lazy to write. i can't believe i haven't written about the last baksos i had. social charity like that almost always crush my heart as i know there are so many people in need but they don't have the money to get the medical care they needed. it's so sad.. and i stumble upon this old man. he was coming alone, with his eyes already deteriorating. but he still could walk slowly and steady. he complained about the itch on his back which he's had it for almost years. when i pulled up his shirt and looked at his back, i was confused. his back is covered with crust and i don't know what the hell it was. it seems like it had been going on several stages. forming vesicles and then burst and dried up, and it was forming vesicles again. and it happened again and again. as if like he's having a pile of roof on his back. pretty scary, and i have no idea what he's having. and neither valen nor andre, whom sitting next to me at the baksos. the only suggestion was giving him something to ease the itch and have him back to the puskesmas and get the referral to RSUDS.

if only i had the information to know what he's having.. and if only i knew the cure. the worst part is, when i suggested him to go to the puskesmas, he told me that he had no one to accompany him anywhere. i have no idea how he could be there. *sigh* this is the irony of this country. people could live in splurge while other live in suffering. hmmpphhh..

politics here and there

huff..pretty hectic month.. gotta finish the invitation list, gotta choose the wedding gown..and so much more. but the most annoying part is my PTT troubles. the head of the organization turned out to be a "not so kind" person. he's trying to be nice and holy, but the fact is people get pissed by him. and the fact is, i'm kinda pessimist that he'll sign my letters. it's been in his hand for almost a month and no news. pretty disappointing. what kind of support if he's reluctant to sign the papers right away? puff... too much politics around the clinics. the working climate is not conducive anymore. i've decided if he didn't sign it, then heck with it. i'm better off without it. if He allows me to be a resident, then He'll show the way to make me one.

the more exciting part is choosing a honeymoon destination. so far i couldn't change Bali from his mind, but we keep another option open. what do you guys think? Manado or New Zealand? hmm.. in other hand i would love to experience diving.. but in other hand, New Zealand pretty attractive.. the scenery.. hopefully it's peaceful and has nice weather.. ,not like here. humpfff... let's see how much it will cost.. so, good luck for all of us. the clock is ticking. two months from now people...

counting the days

just today it slipped my mind
we're all laughing and talking, keep on drinking and eating
talking about the past, talking about today, talking about the future we should have someday
talking about our dreams, about our expectations
with no worries, with no hesitation
we seems fighting the time, refusing to age
but then time do flies
yesterday, we might be a little kid
and then without even realize it, we've graduated from college and started to live as an adult
and now, as life cycle, we started to make family ourselves

we met new guy, we date, we broke off
we started a new relationship again and then we decided that we've found the meaning of life
we've been engaged and then getting married
without even realize it my friend, we, who refused to age, started to grow up
we grew up by nature, by the force of nature
we are becoming an adult
and it hit me today

couple months from now, i'll be someone's wife
and then i have to be responsible not just for my life, but also for someone's else
we grow up my friend
we grow up and there's nothing we can do about it
just live your life!

last part for ever after

yak..akhirnya konseling kita SELESAI!! yipeee... not that i hate it, just you know, i'd prefer spending it having fun after all the hard day at work all week long. so, for the last counseling, since i'm half dozed due to exhaustion and a little bit feverish, i'm not quite remember about what we talked about. all i know is that we should communicate everything with our spouse and always ask for God's guidance. and then there's a turning back part. our first lesson was learning how to give since our purpose of being married is to give happiness to our spouse. but the last lesson, we could take and give. the reason why they told us at the end is because taking is easy, but giving is hard to do, so they have to remind us to giving for almost the whole session and just one session to tell us that there should be a balance of take and give.

and at the end of our counseling, we had to take a personality test. just like the old one. whether we are sanguinist, choleric, melancolic or phlegmatic. another test to check my personality though. back in my senior high days, i was sanguin-melancholic, but thanks to Hantoro, i was changed to sanguin choleric. but on my last test, my phlegmatic is rising!! pretty confusing, since my phlegmatic was always at the bottom of four. so i guess i'm not stable enough. hahahaa... david on the other hand, is pretty amazing. he had a stable personality all his life. no significant differences among those four. all almost equal. emotionless person. hahaha...

whatever it is, i hope it's enough to help us in walking marriage life. huff. many people reminded me of how close i am in becoming a wife. please.. don't remind me again. i don't know how to react. i don't think there will be such difference though. but maybe i was wrong. yeah, i might move into other house, but we still live in same city. we could meet everyday. or i could sleep over someday. right now, i don't know what to feel. excited perhaps, and sometimes scared. but all i know is that it's not only me.. with 3 more months to go, we still have a lot to prepare. oh gosh.. hopefully everything will be just fine.

movie reviews: nikita

well, since blockbuster movies are still being banned from Indonesia's cinema, i have no option other than watching series.. (no way i'm giving up watching..hahahaa..). so, since after couple disappointment in "The Cape" and i forget what's the series' name.. , being agreeed to buy Nikita is such a pleasure. This is another heroine movie. The main character, Nikita, was an assasin in a government black-op which is now gone rogue. After fled from the organization, instead of hiding, she decided to fight back and make sure that every mission the organization had, failed. And she had a mole inside, whom she has trained before. a russian heir whom never knew that nikita has killed her parents. nor how dangerous and tricky it is being inside of the organization.

this movie kinda so-so. a heroine with a plan of saving the world. well-trained assasin, highly skilled but a moral killer. a usual plot of tricking each other. and also, being falling in love with your enemies. although it same old, new fashion way of spy movies, it's okay to fill my day. not to boring, and pretty complicated. since you can never know who's the real villain. but at the end of the first season, which is kinda surprising, i can't see it coming. although no one being killed, but sadly, nikita parted from her partner. after gaining another partner beforehand. but..it kinda saving me from my boredom since there were many twists in the series. although i still rooting for my criminal minds. hoping next season will come soon...

after a year and a half

hmm..ndak kerasa aku udah setahun setengah di mitra ini. many experiences, many ups and downs during those times. many cases, many incidences, but i survived  though. some may come and go, but i found new friends here. not just among peer doctors, but also from nurses, paramedics and administration clerks. i do like the work environment. although sometimes the schedule is insanely hectic, but since we worked with people that we're comfortable with, it's enjoyable. many funny stories too... let's review some..

comments and questions i heard most in the hospital (since i'm the all-rotating doctor --> ward, icu, emergency room, clinics, even both hotel clinics.. hahaa..talking about being greedy... ):
1. hmm.. u looked new.. i never saw u before: errr... i've been here a year...
2. u look young, how old are you? : errrr... i'm 26 now.
3. u do look young, are u an intern here? nope.. i'm officially a doctor, legal and under oath since october 28th, 2010.
4. are u really have graduated? errr... yeah.. i won't be able to be here and be your doctor if i don't have a license
5. what school? i've graduated from unair. (at this point, some showed awe .. now they're starting to believe that i'm a REAL doctor.. hahahaa..)
6. are u married? nope.. not yet
7. any boyfriend? yes.. we've been engaged (don't think that some will stop at this point, knowing that i've been engaged. a few keep going by saying anything could happen before i'm married.. hahaa.. pretty bold)
8. u're pretty.. don't look like a doctor.. : well, i'll be damn if i have to be ugly to become a doctor. don't judge a book by its cover people...

comments i heard most in the hotel clinics:
1. where r u going? clinic.. (they looked puzzled.. and i kept going..hahaa..)
2. which department are u in? i'm not an employee here.. i'm the doctor (ooooo... that's the most replies i got)
3. hey..u haven't check log! mmm.. i don't have one.. i'm the doctor..
4. r u here to collect debts? errr... do i look like one? hahaha..
5. which trainee are u? i'm not a trainee.. i'm a doctor (please.. u've already saw my white coat.. what do u think it was? a cook's coat?)
6. u look young.. (here we go again...)
7. i haven't seen u before... (again... since i'm just filling the blank schedule, it's probably they don't always meet me when they come to the clinic)

and lately, i've been asked for my card.. hahaa.. i don't have one. probably i'll make one soon.

lesson for ever after - continued

yesterday, after skipped the class for several weeks, finally we had time to do the consulting again. hahaa.. this time, since it was a short notice and both of us are in a hurry, so the lesson kinda in pieces. whatever comes to om han's mind, he talked to us and then we will discussed it. wekekeke.. melencengggg..

okay, the first lesson is about having the principal ground in building a family, which is in God. although some family claimed that they're Christian, it don't necesserily grant them happiness. even some non Christian could be happy since they are defining their own happines standard. so if we wanted happiness in our family, we have to put God first and do everything according to His law and surely happiness will follow. perhaps it wouldn't come instantly, but later we will see His plan is never wrong for us.

and being closer to God is important since it also will make us closer to our spouse as well. just like Jeffrey Rahmat said in one of his sermon, like a triangle with God on the peak, if we came closer to God, if our relationship with God grew stronger, it will also draw our spouse closer, as the gap between the base and the apex of the triangle are become closer. and the parents have strong relationship with God, the children will see that example and follow unconciously. and also if there were any problems along the way, as long as we ask God to intervene, there will be a solution.

the next lesson is about changing our spouse. how can we change them? although it seems impossible, it was proven possible in God. the first step that we have to take is to change ourself first. then bring it in prayer so that God may intervene in His way to change our spouse.

and the most important lesson is about how to communicate. communication between two person could be tricky. some obstacles in communication : rock-headed, cocky, unwilling to listen, egoism, and etc. so the most important key in communication is the willingness to listen. the most dangerous thing is if we acted like we listen but in fact, we didn't listen. it could back-stabbed us. and other things that play part in communication besides words are gesture and intonation. same words that was spoken in different intonaton could bring different effects. so i guess, another lesson to lessen the ME inside of me, open our ears as wide as we could, and change first.